Life in Florida the day before the expected hurricane Wilna arrives is much like any other sunday morning,
with the exception at our house today,that instead of heading to sunday school and church, we are
finishing up tying things down, checking that there will be no missed potential projectiles coming thru the windows, because we failed to bring them in or tie them down..
Patio furniture is placed in the sheds, as are all mowers, and of course anything fragile.. my windchimes come into the house out of the main bed, which is putting on a wonderful rose show..

I have rechecked all our hurricane supplies for the 4th time this year! and know we have ample emergency supplies laid in for us and the critters..
Now we wait.. and pray for everyone.
The news this afternoon is better.. I hope the track doesnt change again!

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. And, if we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not.That has been this week in a nut shell!

Here is your dose of humor..
A. Follow the instructions to find your new name
B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject box and forward it to friends and family and co-workers.

And don’t go all adult - a senior manager is now known far and wide as Dorky Gizzardsniffer!

The following is excerpted from a children’s book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k =funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half !of your new last name:

a = butt
b =boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s =fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush’s new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.

ALL INTERESTS IN THE FLORIDA KEYS AND THE FLORIDA PENINSULA SHOULD
CLOSELY MONITOR THE PROGRESS OF EXTREMELY DANGEROUS HURRICANE WILMA.

FOR STORM INFORMATION SPECIFIC TO YOUR AREA…INCLUDING POSSIBLE
INLAND WATCHES AND WARNINGS…PLEASE MONITOR PRODUCTS ISSUED
BY YOUR LOCAL WEATHER OFFICE.

AT 4 PM CDT…2100Z…THE CENTER OF HURRICANE WILMA WAS LOCATED NEAR
LATITUDE 18.9 NORTH… LONGITUDE 85.7 WEST OR ABOUT 135 MILES…
220 KM… SOUTHEAST OF COZUMEL MEXICO.

WILMA IS MOVING TOWARD THE NORTHWEST NEAR 6 MPH… 9 KM/HR… AND
THIS GENERAL MOTION IS EXPECTED TO CONTINUE FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS.
ON THE FORECAST TRACK…THE CENTER OF WILMA WILL BE VERY NEAR THE
COASTLINE OF THE YUCATAN BY MIDDAY TOMORROW. HOWEVER…WILMA HAS A
LARGE CIRCULATION AND HURRICANE CONDITIONS WILL BE FELT WELL BEFORE
THE ARRIVAL OF THE CENTER.

MAXIMUM SUSTAINED WINDS ARE NEAR 150 MPH…240 KM/HR…WITH HIGHER
GUSTS. WILMA IS A CATEGORY FOUR HURRICANE ON THE SAFFIR-SIMPSON
SCALE. SOME STRENGTHENING IS FORECAST DURING THE NEXT 24
HOURS…AND WILMA COULD REGAIN CATEGORY FIVE STRENGTH AS IT
APPROACHES THE YUCATAN TONIGHT.

HURRICANE FORCE WINDS EXTEND OUTWARD UP TO 85 MILES…140 KM…
FROM THE CENTER…AND TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS EXTEND OUTWARD UP
TO 200 MILES…325 KM.

THE MINIMUM CENTRAL PRESSURE REPORTED BY A NOAA AIRCRAFT WASS 918
MB…27.11 INCHES.

COASTAL STORM SURGE FLOODING OF 7-11 FEET ABOVE NORMAL TIDE
LEVELS…ALONG WITH LARGE AND DANGEROUS BATTERING WAVES…CAN BE
EXPECTED NEAR AND TO THE NORTH OF WHERE THE CENTER MAKES LANDFALL ON
THE YUCATAN PENINSULA.

WILMA IS EXPECTED TO PRODUCE 10 TO 20 INCHES OF RAIN THROUGH
SATURDAY ACROSS PORTIONS OF WESTERN CUBA AND THE YUCATAN
PENINSULA…WITH ISOLATED AMOUNTS OF 40 INCHES POSSIBLE…
PARTICULARY OVER HIGHER TERRAIN IN WESTERN CUBA.

ADDITIONAL RAINFALL ACCUMULATIONS OF 2 TO 4 INCHES…WITH ISOLATED
AMOUNTS OF 8 INCHES…ARE POSSIBLE ACROSS THE CAYMAN ISLANDS…SWAN
ISLAND…AND PORTIONS OF HONDURAS THROUGH FRIDAY.

REPEATING THE 4 PM CDT POSITION…18.9 N… 85.7 W. MOVEMENT
TOWARD…NORTHWEST NEAR 6 MPH. MAXIMUM SUSTAINED
WINDS…150 MPH. MINIMUM CENTRAL PRESSURE… 918 MB.

AN INTERMEDIATE ADVISORY WILL BE ISSUED BY THE NATIONAL
HURRICANE CENTER AT 7 PM CDT FOLLOWED BY THE NEXT
COMPLETE ADVISORY AT 10 PM CDT.

FORECASTER FRANKLIN

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