“Our grief always brings a gift.
It’s the gift of greater sensitivity and compassion for others.
We learn to rise above our own grief by reaching out
and lessening the grief of others.”-author unknown

Yesterday someone said something very cruel.
Not intentionally, unthinkingly, but cruel and thoughtless.
I was speaking to a new designer working for our company,
who’s daughter is being married on Christmas day.
She is very excited, she shared lots of details.

She asked about my family, did I have children, so I gave her the information,
a terrific son of twenty-nine, 3 grandchildren, and
a daughter who had been killed at eighteen.

She didn’t say, how wonderful that you have grandchildren,
or you have a great son, or how grateful we should be, to be so blessed.

She said, “well it’s past time you get over her”.
Tears sprang to my eyes, and my breath caught in my throat.
I hung up without speaking.
I couldn’t.

Please remember grief has no time frame.
If you don’t know what to say, simply say ‘I’m sorry.’
The words themselves are not important, but convey a sense that you know and care.
Remember that love never dies, and the pain will never totally disappear.

I have used many ways to cope, I speak her name when I share stories, I remember what a challenge she could be.I keep photo’s of her on my desk, I simply love her still.

I wrote a article about holiday loss here
Daily Life