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Christmas Party From Hell

I was sent this by a friend who says .. it sums up her feelings..
I intend to send a get well card and flowers later today..

December 1st
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols … feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty Lewis – Human Resources Director

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December 2nd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.” The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty Lewis – Human Resources Director

— — —

December 3rd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I’m happy to accommodate this request, but, don’t forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, “AA Only,” you won’t be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts exchange-no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is too much money.
Patty Lewis – Human Researchers Director

— — —

December 7th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I’ve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table. Happy now?
Patty Lewis – Human Racehorses Director

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December 9th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
People, people-nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of “Santa” does happen to be “Satan,” there is no evil connotation to our own “little man in a red suit.”
Patty Lewis – Human Ratraces

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December 10th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Vegetarians-I’ve had it with you people!! We’re going to hold this party at Luigi’s Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the “grill of death,” as you put it, and you’ll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them right now. Ha!
I hope you all have a rotten Merry Christmas
The B*tch from Hell!

— — —

December 14th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I’ll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Terri Bishop – Acting Human Resources Director.

December 13, 2006   Comments Off

Navy Hero Travis Youngblood

Navy Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class Travis L. Youngblood
Navy Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class Travis L. Youngblood
26 years old from Surrency, Georgia
Regimental Combat Team 2, 2nd Marine Division, 2nd Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward)
July 21, 2005

Elmer “Mo” Youngblood wasn’t sure why his sailor son wanted to leave relatively safe duty aboard a ship to be a combat medic in Iraq.

“For some reason or another, he wanted to be a corpsman,” Youngblood said of his son, Petty Officer 3rd Class Travis Levy Youngblood.

He was a medic with a Marine unit in the Iraqi town of Hit when he was hit by an IED.

“I was tickled to death with him being in the Navy,” Elmer Youngblood, a former Navy man, said from his home in Surrency, in southeast Georgia. “I wasn�t too happy when he basically volunteered to go over there, but it was his choice.”

Travis Youngblood grew up mostly in Virginia. He attended Appling County High School after his father moved there in the 1990s. Surrency is listed as his hometown on his Navy enlistment papers and he and his father enjoyed fishing and hunting together there.

His wife, Laura, also served in the Navy. She left the service and lives in Long Beach, N.Y.

The couple has a four-year-old, now five, son, Hunter Youngblood, and Laura Youngblood was pregnant with the couple’s second child at the time of his death.

These brave men and women have given their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Have Every Right To Dream Heroic Dreams.
Those Who Say That We’re In A Time When There Are No Heroes, They Just Don’t Know Where To Look

This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. If you would like to participate in honoring the brave men and women who serve this great country, you can find out how by clicking here.

December 13, 2006   Comments Off