Archive for February 13th, 2007

Feb 13 2007

The Ant and the Grasshopper

Published by pet under Critters

This was sent by my friend Chris… Many thanks!

“OLD VERSION”:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
His House And laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays
The summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no
Food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

“MODERN VERSION”:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
His house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays
The summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
Conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be
Warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
Shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home
with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a
Country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer.
So?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
Cries when they sing, “It’s Not Easy Being Green.” Jesse Jackson stages a
Demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations Film
the
Group singing, “We shall overcome”. Jesse then has the group kneel Down
to
Pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King
That the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
call
For an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his “fair share.”

Finally, the EEOC drafts the “Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper
Act,” retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green
Bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
Confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
Defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal
Judges that Bill “no pants” Clinton appointed from a list of
single-parent
Welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits
Of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens
to
Be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain
It.

The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in
A drug-related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by
A gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican.

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